9 years / Mom
Well, it's now 9 years since you left us so suddenly, but as always, it feels like yesterday. So much has happened here, good and bad, but I'm hoping you''re up to speed on everything 😄. I just wish I knew what YOU'VE been doing for 9 years. Aunt Beryl is with you now, Curt, so I hope she finds you and Granny and papa and the gang. I'm loving being a Nana and Luca is such a sweetie...I mention your name to him every time I,m with him, I want him to know you. Curtis is his middle name. ❤️. Dad and I are travelling tomorrow and I'm still looking for you like the psychic told Sue...maybe on this trip we'll meet . Rob and Laura are both doing well, and I trust you're watching over them...and finding them parking spots ! I miss you every single day Curt, and I can still hear your laugh. They're happy memories, all of them. We're off to Boston Pizza tonight with Laura, Yash, Luca and Rob...cactus chips. You're everywhere. I love you, Curt.
Happy 26th Birthday! / Leanna
Hey Curtis! Happy Birthday! I can't believe we are 26. Wow, it looks so much older in writing than it feels. How does that happen? It feels like just yesterday we turned 16 and danced it up together at my beach party. I know that if you were here right now, you'd be kicking so much ass at this "adult" life thing. Ahhh, who am I kidding, you'd still be the biggest goof and inner child in the world. And you'd still be so infectiously happy and sarcastic. I miss that so freakin' much. Your life was (and IS) so special. You have left such a positive imprint in the lives of all of your friends. We all talk about you all the time, rest assured of that. All this time has passed and you are basically still the MVP of our friend group. haha. Always stealing the show. Actually, I see your memorial rock at Markville every time I go for a run. Or when I'm driving. Basically I always see it. And every time I do, I get a happy feeling and a sinking feeling in my heart simultaneously. I find that I'm wishing we had more time together. New memories to make. New laughs. More recent heart-to-heart conversations. But you know what? Everything we did have was so special and I feel so blessed to even have been given your friendship in my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything, other than to have you around here longer obviously. I still get to see you every once in a while in my dreams, which makes me so happy. And you still leave me little signs here and there and "nudges" at random times. That is so special and I feel you are always with me. Thank you for keeping me in your heart and for not forgetting about me. I know I have not forgotten about you. Happy 26th my friend....I am sending you a huge bear hug and in my mind I'm running around in the fields with you right now laughing. Can you feel it? xo Close
Happy Birthday! / Mom
Happy Birthday Curt! 26 years ago you came into this world and my life, along with so many others, changed forever. So many people still talk about you, remember your smile, your laugh, your kindness, and your card tricks!! I hope you're still doing them Curt - sometimes Holly finds cards on the streets in San Francisco, and she is reminded of you. It's nice, and I love that she shares it with us. Laura and I are going to the Jays game today, and Laura says you can have a beer with us!! Stay close, sweetie, we love and miss you everyday. I put some bright sunflowers at your site, I love them - ( and some Pez :)) Patti and Lisa left a card, and I'll leave it unopened - it's only for you. I hope you've read it already.
So, Happy Birthday Curtman, I wish, again, that we could celebrate this day together in person, but it was not to be. I love you so so much. Peace. Close
Mother's Day 2014 / Mom
It's obvious I lose track of time…this is my 9th Mother's Day without you, NOT 7!! My God, that's pretty bad eh? The number doesn't really matter tho... I still am, and will forever be, you mom. I love you. I miss you. Peace. Close
Mother's Day 2014 / Mom
So, this is my 7th Mother's Day not having you here. It feels a lot longer, but it also feels like yesterday again. I am very proud to be your mother. You would be very proud of your sister - Laura is an amazing mom to Luca. He adores her, his little face lights up every time he sees her. I hope that you can see him, Curt, and I wish you could have known him. You can, however, watch over him. That would make me happy.
We're all going to Duck again, Curt, and it's always bittersweet going there, knowing what good times we had with you there. But, it's all good. The kids are going to rent a van :) in Norfolk and drive from there, dad and I will drive from here. I'll watch for road kill….remember that trip to Ball State University???
Oh, man, Curt, some days it still hurts so much, right out of the blue. Maybe you were close to me that day? I don't know, but i'm always surprised how devastating some days can be. But, for the most part, things are very happy here, I absolutely love being a nana (that's my name…you like it ? ) , Dad and I are travelling more, he's not gigging as much, …it's all good, Curt.
Please give Granny a big kiss for me, and tell her I think of her often, especially when we play cards. I'll tell her Happy Mother's Day myself…will she hear? Of course Papa and Garry and Grandpa, and maybe Laura Sturm if you happen to see her.
I love you always, Curt, and honestly, honestly, I think of you every single day. Still.
Merry Christmas / Mom
Merry Christmas! I hope you were together with Granny and Papa and Garry and Grandpa, and all your new friends :)
We missed you, and you are never forgotten, Curt. Laura and Yash gave me a beautiful locket and your picture is inside..remember when you made that disappearing video out in the backyard, with that red trucker hat? Well, that's the picture in my locket - I love that one. I'm going to put a picture of Luca on the other side of the locket - it will be so special. There was also a deck of card with 3 different pics of you. How great is that?? Luca is a sweetie, Curt, and I know you'd love him..he smiles so much now. I don't know, maybe you already have seen his smile? Rob is a great uncle, and Laura is an amazing mom. You'd be proud of them. Rob and Sasha are great, they brought their dogs and stayed for a couple of days along with Laura, Yash and Luca so it was a full house. We went to Allie and Simon's for Christmas dinner with everyone - it was nice, good food, lots of laughs.
Dad and I went to a Leafs game last night, it was so cool! We'll be doing quite a bit of travelling next year, so I hope you stay nice and close! Rob's job is going well, Laura is still on maternity leave until October. Cousin Sarah is getting married this year! We don't see too much of the Cornwall/Perth/Ottawa gang, but we do talk, and everyone is still hanging in. Grandma and Aunt both had hip operations and are doing pretty well. Sarah and Nathan live in Toronto, and Katie, Charlotte and Jonathan are all in Ottawa. Patti and Gary and Tim and Lisa are all trucking along too, doing good stuff! Lisa's flower store has really taken off, she's very busy. Other than that, Curt, not much changes here. Dad is busy with work, and the band still plays, but not as much. I work a little :), and will be looking after Luca 2 days/week when Laura goes back to work. I can hardly wait. I feel that right now I'm in a good place, Curt. It's taken a long time. I hope it lasts.
I think of you every day, Curt, and I see your face everyday. I still wear your runners and your Sorel boots (although dad gave me boot for Christmas, but I'll never give yours away). You're such a big part of my life, our family and that will never change. I love you. Peace. Close
8 years / Mom
This site has been down for quite awhile - I'm glad I can finally write to you! Well, another year has passed and I still can remember exactly how the day unfolded. I guess I always will. I hope you're doing everything you love to do, Curt - you deserve it!
There have been a lot of things that happened this year and I hope you're aware of them all, hon. Biggest news.....Laura and Yash had a baby boy, Luca Curtis, in September...you and Rob are uncles!!! I really hope that you can connect with him in your own way, Curt.. I think he would like that. I am called Nana, and dad is called Pops. I like Granny ,but there is ever only one Granny, right? Say hi to her and Papa for me, - I know they would have loved to be here for Luca as well.
Dad and I went to Portugal in September with Rob and Sasha and had an awesome time. Did we see you there???? You know what I mean. Rob's business is doing well, he and Sasha have 2 dogs and a cat . You'd like them all. I think your friends are all doing well in their own fields, Michael travels a lot...I follow them on Facebook sometimes. Dad is working hard, still playing in the band. My workload is really minimal now, so I'm planning on spending more time with Luca if I can...perfect, right?
A patient of dad's said you're back now...whatever your contract is I know you'll do well - you're smart, determined, loving...everything else in-between!!
I miss you Curt, every day, and I love you every minute of every day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 25?! / Leanna
Happiest of Heavenly Birthdays to you! Every single year we turn another year older, it is a reminder to me of just how young you were when you moved on. How is it up there? Or "over" there? Wherever "there" might be? Wish we could hug again. I dreamt of you last night and as always, it made me wake up with a smile on my face, but with a bittersweet feeling in my heart. I miss you, my friend. I miss our hugs, and laugh attacks, and jokes, and our pure enjoyment at the simplicities in life. Remember the broken cucumber? You got so mad about that. lol. I wish we had new memories together....but in a way, I feel that we do...in some weird dimension of life we have created new memories together, meeting in my dreams and in our shared memories, and in our "visits" with the random little signs you leave me. It might not seem real to the rest of the world, and to be honest it is frustrating not being able to physically talk to you in real life and get a response back, but however dreamlike these 'interactions' are they still feel real to me and I value them with every fiber of my being. I really mean it Curt. I hope you celebrated and enjoyed your 25th! Wait, does that make you 8 years old in Heaven time? lol! You're young :P Also....you've gained a couple of new souls this year up in your 'hood....some of my favorites actually. Please tell "Uncle Tony" from Sopranos that I absolutely loved him and will miss his talent sorely. And please tell Cory Monteith from "Glee" that he's a stud and he's broken some hearts down here. All the while, I'm sure you're just the life of the party and eagerly waiting for the rest of your crew to join you someday.
25 years old!! / Mom
Happy birthday Curt!! On earth you would have been 25 years old today...are you 25 in heaven too? I find that so hard to grasp. I miss you every day and I think I talk about you every day...to whoever will listen :). Last night we went to Boston Pizza with Patti and Gary, had cactus chips of course. Today I'm going to put the sunflowers at your site, I love them, they seem like a happy flower to me. We'll see Laura and Yash and Rob and Sasha today and maybe another Boston Pizza trip...I know you'll be right there with us. I'm surpised how weepy I am today, Curt...I guess some days are better than others. Lots of people have remembered your birthday, it's nice. I hope you're celebrating in heaven, and I hope you see Granny and Papa and Garry and Grandpa . Send me a sign sometime if you can....i do love the parking spots tho, that's amazing!! Keep close sweetie, I can still hear your laugh. I love you. Happy birthday. Peace. xoxox Close
Merry Christmas! / Leanna
In the past, usually around some time tomorrow morning I'd be hearing your familiar sweet voice on the phone saying Merry Christmas. I miss that. Merry Christmas Curtis! The celebration in Heaven must be RIDICULOUS!!!! I can only imagine....Curt, hope you get the chance to visit your family here (and friends, hint hint) in some way this Christmas. Your presence is missed! Please leave a note or something somehow! :) I love you and wish you a happy time up there. Peace and love! Leanna Close
7 years / Mom
Each year I find it more challenging to write on this day. You would think it'd become easier but not really. I still miss you every single day. I love you more than you'll ever know and I wish with all my heart that we'd had a bit longer. I am at peace , though, knowing you're in Heaven and you're well and you're playing guitar, with both hands. 😊 Lots has changed since a year ago which I'm sure you know. Your friends are all over the place - LA, Montreal, San Francisco, St. Kitts, Toronto. It's pretty exciting for them, and I hope you watch over them and keep them safe. Laura and Rob are both doing really well, they both have new partners, and I know you would like them a lot. We all got together on your birthday at....guess where... and had ....guess what? It always bittersweet but I need to keep doing it. Allie and Simon got married, Aunt Judy broke her wrist Christmas Eve, the sisters went to New York, and dad and I went to Italy with Patti and Gary. Busy busy. But Curt, everywhere I go I take you with me. I have your picture in Papa's bible and now I've added Granny and Garry's- it's the first thing I pack. You've been to a lot of places, but I bet none are as lovely as Heaven. I'm happy for you. I love that you are still, and always will be, talked about daily, remembered daily, and talked TO daily ( by me 😊) . I take comfort in knowing you're with Granny and Papa and Garry and Grandpa. Lisa's friend Pete recently passed - I hope you meet him and help him because you're the pro now! 7 years - it sounds like a long time, and it feels like a long time, but I can remember exactly what the day was like 7 years ago. Life changing for all of us Curt and I hope you're proud of how we've managed so far. Some good, some bad years. Be patient with us. Tomorrow will be another very sad day so allow me lots of tears...again.... You are my hero, I will always love you , I will always cherish our 17 years we had. I will always wear your running shoes . Dim sum with Santa. I miss you so so much Curt.
Happy Birthday! / Leanna
Hey Curt! Happy Birthday! Today, you were really on my mind. Not that you aren't on other days, but today very much so. I still feel so very badly about not being in town for your last birthday on earth...I wish so badly looking back that I had been. Or that I had at least called while I was traveling. I know that was so long ago, but sometimes it really really hurts me to think back on it. I just thought there was more time. I didn't realize how little time we had left with you, nor did any of us! A reminder to never take people for granted and to cherish every single moment spent here on earth. Today, I went to one of my favorite spots on the coast-- Zuma Beach, in Malibu. I love going there because it's truly one of the most peaceful places I know on earth, and it's such a perfect spot to just relax and reflect. I always manage to find dolphins there. I just can't think of a more perfect, happy place. I had memories of you running through my mind all day long while I jogged up and down the beach, looking out to the ocean, wondering if you were with me too. Zuma is a paradise for surfers, as the waves are huge and steady, and there are so few rocks. I noticed one surfer, just lying on his board in his wetsuit and chilling on the waves. Something about him stuck out to me. He was so tranquil. He lay on his stomach on the board, slowly paddling along, moving with the tides, not even worrying about catching a wave. When the right one came along, he paddled towards it and conquered it, only to get back on the board and calmly look for more. He stood out amongst the others who were frantically trying to tackle the waves and falling. He simply relaxed on them like he was part of the ocean himself. From a distance, he looked like you. Brown-ish hair, same slender frame, same face shape, young and peaceful. For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine he was you. It brought a smile to my face. In many ways, you were like that surfer--so calm, cool and collected. No matter how rough the tides of life were for you, you never seemed to freak out. You just took life as it came at ya. From what I saw of you, you never lashed out or complained. I know you weren't perfect and that you got upset from time to time like any normal human would, but for the most part, I can rarely remember hearing a single complaint about ANYTHING from you! You had this radiant happiness, this permanent joy that just seeped out of you every single day. You had this attitude of gratitude that just brought everyone around you so much light. I don't know how, considering everything you were going through healthwise, that you managed to keep that up right until the day you left. I love you so much and you never cease to make me smile and warm my heart. When you passed away, I lost such a very great friend. I lost such a wonderful person who brightened my life in so many ways. I wish that we had more time together. However I know that you are with me...even in the memories and the thoughts that come to me each day,---like the surfer on the waves today---you are continuously reminding me to take a chill pill, relax, and enjoy life. I love you....Happiest of Birthdays up there <3 Close
Happy Birthday / Mom
So...another year older..24. I don't imagine your age is really that important in Heaven, is it? But here on Earth, it's a big deal. I wish so much you were here to celebrate with us., in person. However, the next best thing is to go celebrate with Rob and Sasha and Laura and Yash and eat appetizers and pizza and laugh and cry (yes, I still cry..) and remember you. I'm going to put some bright yellow sunflowers at your site tomorrow...i love them, they're huge and they look happy...i know that sounds dumb, but they do! I remember for a couple of years after you had passed I didn't want anything happy at your site to mark your birthday.. I felt sad all the time, especially this day. Time has a way of numbing some of that pain, and so now your birthday is both happy/sad ..hence the flowers. AND...maybe a present!! I think that's what I miss most about your birthday...your pure excitement, anticipation, you just couldn't wait!! I love you so much Curt, i hope you know when I'm thinking about you, or when I'm talking to you, or when I need you.
Come with us tomorrow, ok?
Happy Birthday, sweetie. I miss you. I love you always.
Yo Curt! Just wanted to say Happy Easter! :)
I bet there's nothing but parties where you are this weekend....for such a good reason too. It amazes me, the concepts of forgiveness, of redemption, and even resurrection. It's hard for me to fully comprehend that kind of selflessness and magic. How lucky you are to know all the secrets of life that we down on earth can't figure out...:P
How are things with you? Haven't seen or heard from you in a while. Sheesh, whatever happened to remembering us little people? Guess you're having too much fun! lol. Too many chocolate eggs or something.
I just wanted to say.....hope your Easter is amazing. Say hi to the Big Guy for me and thank him for me for all He did for us on this special weekend. Give him a hug for me okay?
Love you! Happy Easter.
Hey Curtis / Leanna
That's a word I heard way too often from you and now wish I'd hear it again just once. I miss you bugging me online I miss you asking me ridiculously inappropriate questions I miss your sick and perverted sense of humor (lol) and I miss your bitchy attitude (at times). We had our share of fights arguments and "silent treatments" while you were here. But more importantly and what amazes me the most is that we always managed to remain friends through it. That's what true friendship is I have come to realize. True friendship stands the test of time distance and tribulation. This is why I still know you're one of my truest friends to this day. Time (six years has gone by since you passed not to mention knowing each other since kindergarten and being best friends since 7th grade. That's a lot of time) has stood between us. Distance (I'm not quite sure how far away Heaven literally is in terms of measurements or whatever but I am going to assume it's pretty frickin far. So that's a lot of distance.) has stood between us. And tribulation.....well....losing someone at such a young age has been hard for me and quite traumatizing. You had your share of awful hardships with your health your stroke your heart....and the sadness that came with that. Somehow through all of this I still feel you are my friend with me all the time. (PS. Hilarious and perverted message you left me a couple weeks ago. You still need to learn how to spell.) Thank you for making me feel that you still love me and are with me watching over me and putting in a good word for me with the Big Guy. Thank you for never hating me even when I wasn't the best possible friend (particularly the summer of 05) and for always forgiving me when we fought. Thank you for sharing your love of movies and music with me....it reminds me of why I am out here pursuing this. Thank you for encouraging me to always be creative silly and to never stop pranking. I LOVE you like....to the moon and back. You are family to me you are so far beyond friend at this point and I can't wait to 'hear' from you soon.
6 years / Mom
Another year has passed..again too quickly but again not quickly enough. Some years have been harder than others Curt...this has been a hard year with Granny passing. I hope you're with her as much as possible Curt.. Tell her I miss her and love her and I'm using her notepads :). Dad and I are taking a mental health day tomorrow and Laura and Rob are coming up later. The need for us to be together for me anyway is very strong and I hope you're hanging with us ok ? Dad and I are getting a new kitchen and we've re-done the loft and some furniture. It looks really nice. Your buddies are still keeping in touch and it's so so nice!! Allie and Simon are getting married next year Rob and Laura are doing their things...watch over all of them ok ? It's a Monday tomorrow too Curt... Exactly the same as 6 years ago. We were at a funeral today and some of the people there were also at your funeral and remembered it was your "anniversary" ..they talked about you.. Your kindness laughter cardsjokes ..it's so nice that others think highly of you... It makes me feel very proud of being your mom... I love you Curt a day doesn't go by where I don't think of you...still...and that's the best !! In hope you're happy at peace and are always close. Love you forever Curt. Xoxox Close
Happy Birthday / Chris Oliver (friend)
Happy Birthday Curtis. You're dad's band misses you and I'm sure you would have been jammin with us on a regular basis by now. I hope your jammin where you are and don't forget to play an encore on this special occasion. I'll be listening buddy... Close
23 years ago at 3:15 p.m. (about) you were born. Hard to believe still that I can't celebrate it with you in person. It's a huge void in my life Curt but I know without a doubt that when the time comes you'll be the first person there to meet me and that's so comforting to me. A lot has happened since your birthday last year ALL of which I think you know. I hope you're showing Granny the ropes up there! Tell her I miss her so much ok? You know where we'll be tomorrow night and for sure there'll be an appetizer :). I'm cleaning our basement sort of.. and came across 4 bristol boards that the kids at Markville and other schools wrote on and I started to read them...not such a good idea actually. It was pretty sad but at the same time it made me happy to know you were so loved and respected by your peers. I still keep in contact with Michael Hollie and Leanna off and on - it's pretty cool! They're all doing really neat things and I hope you watch over them. I imagine you're amazing at guitar by now and I'd give anything to know what you do who you're with everything about you. Patience right? Dad has a patient who is very attuned to your world and when he sees Dad he lets him know you're doing really well and that you're happy. I'm so glad. I'm going down East next week with all the sisters to take some of Granny's ashes back to Cape Breton. I hope all of you will be there too ok? Help me with the take-off and landing sweetie-I'm by myself coming home and don't think I'll be able to grab the stranger's hand beside me so I'll really need you then. :). I hope you're at peace Curt and I hope that everything in your world is fulfilling . I miss you every single day. I have a hard time imagining you 23 years old. To me you're always 17. I hope that's ok with you. Come with us tomorrow we're having your favourites except maybe th DQ cake...another time for that. Happy Birthday Curt. It was a great day augustus 10 1988!! I love you forever. Peace.
June 2nd / Katie McLaren (Cousin)
You come up in the strangest of moments; as a surprise anytime anyone notices my tattoo and at times when I need you most. We lost one of our own lately at work. A kid a little older than you were passed in an accident last week. I was lucky or maybe unlucky not to have known him. As the stories go he was amazing. So it is understandably hard on my friends that are having to say goodbye.
Losing you sucked. No way around that. But it taught me strength. And it taught me to be in a position of strength for my friends when they need me most. Thank you for that. I can sympathize and empathize with them. And I can offer support.
(I'd rather have nothing to give and our family have you back but I don't control such things)
I don't know what more to say. Losing you was so strange is so strange. We were so far away for so much of our lives. We shared short bursts of awesome family time. Turtles and ninja turtles and card tricks and scooters in the basement and guitars and mini fridges and super soakers and pocket knives and pools. Floaties and popsicles and sunscreen and super dangerous fishing rods. More summer less winter. A little bit of Christmas. Thanksgiving.
I hope you're well. Keep an eye on all of us my siblings especially.